A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL
It’s been a year since I admitted to myself that I was battling postpartum depression again. It’s been that long since I started medication to aid me in dealing with the beast that is PPD. I am finally at the point where I can say there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I thought it was about time I give a little update. So many have surrounded me this past year and been a constant source of support, encouragement, and guidance. With the events that occurred in Vancouver with a mother who was going through PPD ending in her taking her life, a dialogue seems to have finally started about PPD that is open, and honest about. It’s about freaking time!
To be honest, I almost didn’t want to write this out. For fear that I might jinx how I was feeling. That how I was feeling would end up reverting back to the dark pit I was in. I am sharing though because I am just now getting to the end of my struggle. It’s been a long road, but I am there. I feel like myself again.
I actually recognise myself again! Gone is the monster I thought myself to be. Gone are the dark days filled with despair. I’m no longer in a fight with the blanket on my bed that feels like it holds the weight of the world within it. Making it challenging just to get out from the blanket each morning. I wake up each day and actually want to get out of bed!
It’s been a couple months since I started weaning off the medication I was prescribed to in handling my PPD. I have been completely off of it for a month. It was a process to wean off and I could definitely tell the changes. Slowly I started to feel as I did before the postpartum depression kicked in.
I was smiling more. Wanting to play more with my kids. I wanted to spend my time with my little family. They were back to being my focus. I no longer felt like I was drowning, or just trying to stay afloat each day. I was thriving again.
It’s been a long year, filled with the deepest valleys and the highest mountains I have ever seen in my life. This was round two for me in dealing with postpartum depression, I knew what to look for and took action quickly. I truly hope that more will be open and honest about going through this. You are never alone!
If you suspect that you are going through baby blues, postpartum depression or even antenatal depression (depression during pregnancy), and anxiety, please go talk to a medical professional. Don’t be afraid to start that open dialogue. Do it for your family, do it for you!