IF YOU COULD READ MY MIND, YOU WOULD BE IN TEARS
My anxiety was intensified after having kids. It was bad with my first daughter and incredibly worse after the birth of my second daughter. It consumed me. I had no idea how to explain to others how I felt and what was going on. Just recently have I decided that my anxiety isn’t going to stop me anymore.
I’m at the least going to try my hardest to not let it stop me.
When both of my girls were newborns I dreaded having to go anywhere on my own with them. I had a constant sense of worry and would be uneasy for days leading up to things like having to take my baby to a check-up at the doctor. It was crippling, to the point where I would just stay at home instead.
Often if I had to go out somewhere I would ask my husband to come with me. My anxiety revolves around my kids it seems. If my husband couldn’t I would ask someone else to please come and help. I did not want to have to get in the car on my own with my kids. I would become inundated with worry with negative thoughts and doubts plaguing me.
There were always “What if…?” questions running through my mind. That has always been the starting point and the biggest problem in connection to my extreme unease. I’ve been slowly working on this, on getting to a place where I would no longer feel distressed about going out somewhere with my daughters.
It’s taken a long time. I started with simple things like just loading both of them into the car and going to grab a coffee. Doing this during the phase of both my girls refusing to nap in their beds was a huge help. They’d often crash in the car and have at least a little power nap.
Yesterday, I randomly decided to go to the beach with my girls. I messaged my husband while I was on my break at work and asked him to have them ready to go for when I got home. In a bit of a whirlwind, we got the diaper bag packed and the two girls into their car seats in the car.
For the first time, I wasn’t flooded with anxiety. It was a joy-filled car ride and outing.
I’m sharing just a little glimpse of what I’ve been going through. The bible verse below was shared with me a long time ago and it’s been a needed constant reminder.
Cast ALL your anxiety on HIM because HE cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7