Many joke about making sure baby is fully baked before they arrive. It’s really starting to hit me that this little one will be here soon. Sure she will arrive in her own timing, but I can always be hopeful that she will arrive sooner rather than later… 38 weeks sounds lovely to me. As time seems to be passing much more quickly during these final weeks I find myself double checking that we have everything we need for at the hospital, and at home. We still need to get the nursery changed around, and have our first born daughter switched over to her big girl room. Truth be told though, we really only need to pull out the bassinet, and make sure some onesies are ready to go and we’ll be just find and able to manage if baby comes early.
All of this has me thinking about other things though. I am constantly thinking about labor, delivery, our time at the hospital, and what the first while at home is going to be like. I want it to be different this time. Different from what happened with our first born. While I realize it may be a disappointment to some who are near and dear to us, it is important to us as a family and we hope everyone will be understand.
Labor and delivery… I cannot really predict what will happen, I just have a similar mind set to what happened with our first borns birth story. I’ll be open to my options for dealing with pain, and try my best. I know that I am not the best when it comes to pain tolerance. If labor goes quickly and I am beyond the point of being able to get an epidural I know I will just have to buckle down and deal. If I decided I want an epidural I hope the anesthesiologist is available right away. If I’m told we need to have a c-section, that is okay too because I want whatever is best to keep my baby and I safe and healthy. I do hope that I will be more firm if needed, and that doctors and nurses will listen to me. I guess I am hopeful to be entering with an easy going mindset, but with the ability to speak up for myself if needed… or have my husband do so.
At the hospital… While I’d love to rush home to be a family of 4, I know the importance of getting help right away from the medical staff at the hospital. We noticed with our daughter right away, signs of her having a reflux problem. They showed up right after her first feed, and we were left frightened during our whole night there. Thankfully there was help at the push of a button whenever we needed it. We still left after only 24hours there. I regret that. I wish we had stayed longer. If needed for our second born I plan to stay longer. I want to get as much help as possible, I will not hesitate to press the red button to get help with every feed to make sure my child is latching properly while feeding.
Another part of being at the hospital is dealing with visitors. We are currently leaning towards not allowing any visitors while we are there. Grandparents would be a yes, but limited for how long they can visit. We want our first born to get to meet her little sister as soon as possible, but with just her Mommy, Daddy, and little sister present in the room first. We know if may be an overwhelming situation for her so we want to minimize what could possible cause the situation to be too much. We do think she will do well though as it already seems she is head over heels in love with her little sister. We did get one great tip from friends of ours, and it is to make sure Mommy is not holding baby when big sister comes. This way she can run right into my arms and get cuddles after what will have been a bit away from me. After that, then get Daddy to bring over her little sister and introduce her.
I also do not want to be getting interrupted when trying to establish breast feeding. I had a lot of challenges with our first daughter, I am hoping things will go better this time and I really want to focus on it while in the hospital. I don’t want to have to be asking people to leave the room while trying to nurse. I’d rather know that I can do whatever is needed, whenever is needed. I want to also be able to do skin to skin contact and not have to worry about a visitor walking in because they didn’t knock before entering. We want to keep the time we are at the hospital very focused on us as a family of 4, and setting a strong start to our lives with a newborn.
Home… This is the one that we know may really disappoint and frustrate those near to us. We are wanting to basically hide out at home, as a family of four. I struggled pretty soon after our first born with postpartum depression. Between that, and overwhelmed by the change of being a parent and having a baby, as well as visitors I know I need a good chunk of time that is just my husband, my daughters, and I. We felt a bit robbed of our time with our newborn daughter the first time round, as we just did not have the heart to tell people to please leave when they visited and it became to much. We are still debating about this one, we may allow some visitors but we are going to be much more strict about when and how long. It’s going to be a situation that is very much played by ear.
I also ended up hurting my milk supply since I couldn’t really nurse my daughter, and she was mostly bottle fed, I ended up ignoring my need to go pump. This caused a lot of pain for me, and for a drastic decrease in my milk supply. I do not want that to happen again. I am hoping to set up a strong routine for nursing, and/or pumping this time round.
We want all those first born moments to be witnessed and documented by us. There are sadly not many photos of just my husband and I with our newborn daughter at the hospital, and when we came home. Many moments are actually captured of others being over and holding our daughter. We want the first gas induced smile to be captured while our next daughter is in our arms. We want to have a lot of those first little moments to ourselves as mom and dad.
These are three of the main things that have been running through our minds, and have stayed on our hearts as we approach delivery day more, and more. We’d love to have a private intimacy during those first moments with our newborn. Quiet moments of us as just mom, dad, and baby. We want to be able to take in what all has just happened as we welcome a second child into our family. We want time for me to get back to feeling like myself, because we all know hormones still play a big factor even after delivery. We want to be able to focus on any needs I may have if I find myself struggling with postpartum depression again. I may feel achey, totally crappy, and extremely hormonal. Lets be honest, I definitely do not need an audience for that. Here’s hoping we can establish a routine in the first week, or weeks at home as a family of four. It’s going to be a learning process for all of us. We don’t need a bunch of people chiming in and telling us how things should be, we will seek out advice and tips from others if we need to. Really, this is a learning curve for all of us going from three in the house, to four. Once we figure things out a bit we’d love to have people over to visit our newest addition to the family. We’ll probably actually welcome it by then, we just really hope everyone will be open, and understanding to our needing some time.