Brave is defined as “ready to face and endure danger or pain; showing courage“. The past few months I have watched as my husband did just that. Be brave. Bravery is something I found myself running out of. What happens when you feel like you cannot be brave anymore?
Because We Had To Be
When my husband received confirmation of his diagnosis we had to be brave. I had to be brave for him. He had to be brave for me. We had to be brave for our family.
Deep down we were terrified. Some times we let the emotions flow, which meant tears, anger, fear and so much more came flowing out thanks to the unknown of what was to come. Through all of that we at times felt the need to put on a brave face.
The Thing About Being Brave
You see, the thing about being brave is sometimes you come to a point where you just can’t do it any more. I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster which led to my feeling like I was running on empty. I was just getting by on fumes.
My anxiety and stress have been through the roof and it’s caused a domino effect elsewhere in my life. Sleep is one of those areas. I don’t remember the last time I had a good nights sleep.
I’ve also come to be okay with the fact that I do not have to be brave. It is okay to feel like a complete mess. To fall down on my knees in surrender.
Learning To Lean On Others And Hand It All Over
Through this journey we have been learning how to lean on others for the support we need. To ask for their help, thoughts, and prayers. We have learnt that we need to surrender everything and hand it all over to God. He is in control.
A verse that often pops up for us is “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9
With that we’ve been reminded that we are never given more than we can handle, even in the times we are afraid and feel like we can no longer be brave.
A Prayer Request
We thought we were over this mountain in our life. It seems we just reached a part of a ridge of this mountain. A couple weeks ago we shared an update about how Jason was doing. At a recent specialist appointment we were informed that they type of cancer he had is known to be aggressive and spread.
Our world came crashing down as Jason learnt that he will be needing to go back for another surgery. This time to remove lymph nodes from his abdomen. We are back to the “hurry up and wait” part of dealing with cancer. We are asking you all for you continued love and support. We need it.
There are days we are doing well and days we just want to run away to a tropical beach and pretend this isn’t happening. We are trusting that God will bring us through this.
Pray that appointments with specialists and the surgery date come quickly. Please continue to pray for wisdom and guidance for the doctors and medical staff. For healing after the surgery and healing from cancer. Please pray for calming and positivity. For bravery when it is needed. We are doing our best to be calm and positive as we continue through this process.
We are so thankful for everyone who is by our side through this.
Other bloggers are also sharing blog posts that are focused on the word “Brave” this week. You can see what they wrote or that theme below:
Robyn of Creativity Strikes