Have you ever had a photo taken of you, or with you in it and you quickly start judging everything about yourself that you see?
Dove has a commercial out right now that is asking why women tend to be uncomfortable about their appearance, what happened, and when did it all start? You can find the Camera Shy video here. It shows different women avoiding the camera, and towards the end you see different young girls who are not camera shy at all! Dove asks:
“When did you stop thinking you were beautiful?”
Every time I see that commercial it gets me thinking about when I stopped thinking I was beautiful. For me it started when I was pretty young, tween/teenage. It was also around the same time bullying started being really prominent in my life. I was tall, and I was bigger than all the other girls. I have been considered “plus size” for some time now. Once others started pushing their views of what was considered “pretty” and “beautiful” towards me is when I started to devalue myself and become camera shy.
A few weeks back I shared a photo on my Facebook of Jason and I. We were dressed up and about to head out on our date night to go see Michael Buble in concert as our anniversary gift we got for ourselves. I almost didn’t share the photo because I started to judge myself and be very critical about it. Instead I decide to embrace what it was, what I looked like, and that this photo was capturing a special moment. Jason and I celebrating our 4th wedding anniversary.
My friend Tairalyn messaged me soon after I shared the photo and had nothing but very kind words to say. It’s like she read my mind before I shared it and knew what I was thinking. I replied back letting her know how I had just been having an “I feel unpretty moment” and told her I almost didn’t put it up. She reminded me that
You should never hesitate, beauty is beauty and you should NEVER hold back
She totally understands the journey I am currently on with trying to get healthy, shed some weight, and have a more positive attitude about myself. It is not easy to try and shed even a few pounds, yet alone the goal I have set for myself. We are constantly reminding ourselves that we are not doing this just for looks, but for precious little people that need us in their lives for a long long time, for our hubbies, and for ourselves. I want to be healthier for not just myself, but for them.
I am also now working on being less camera shy, and embracing who I am. I know I want there to be photos of me, with my husband, with my daughter, and with friends. I am embracing who I am right now in this moment. Sure I may be a few pounds heavier than when I want to be, but that is okay. This is who I am today. I want to remember all these moments, I want to document them in photos, and I want to not be afraid to share them. I will not let what society deems to be beautiful get me down. I am beautiful.