For me, this pregnancy has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster. With having gone through miscarriages I have had that lurking in the back of my mind. You never forget what happened. When I saw the word pregnant show up on my at home test I was over come with so much joy, and thankfulness, but I was also swallowed up by fear.
I didn’t tell Jason right away. I found out in the morning and headed off to work. When I got home, Jason said he needed the car to run out and get some groceries. Perfect! When Evie woke from her nap, I put her into her “Big Sister” tshirt. We waited for him to get home. As soon as he opened the door Evie went running to him and Jason’s eyes popped out of his head and filled with elation as he read her shirt. His first question was “Really?”. We celebrated together as a little family that day.
We did decided to share the news with some immediate family members, and a few friends. These people made up our prayer and support team as we counted down the weeks. Waiting to get to that supposed magic number. My doctor had me do a stretch of blood work for several days, she wanted to make sure that everything was looking as it should and that my hormone levels were increasing. Lucky me, I ended up with a massive bruise and some leaked blood into the layers of skin. The blood work has continued, I went last week for another round of blood work for other things. I seriously think this is the most blood I have ever had taken from me in my life so far.
Going for the dating ultrasound had us filled with nerves. We feared an experience like our last trip for an ultrasound. We were praying the whole time that it would be filled with good news, not bad. We all went in wearing Strength on our shirts. The ultrasound tech was great, and as soon as she found the baby and the heartbeat she let me see. After a few minutes of getting all the details needed, Jason and Evie got to join me. I will always remember Evie proudly proclaiming “baby, it’s a baby” when she saw the little baby on the screen.
With my first pregnancy, and with Evie I had a physical done with the prenatal doctor very early. Both times it caused problems. This time I waited. I was still worried, doubtful, and I didn’t want to call and book and appointment with the prenatal doctor and have it be a waste of her time. The thought of a miscarriage still was hitting me hard. I finally booked my appointment around 13 weeks along. I booked with the doctor who delivered Evie, she even remembered me and Evie’s birth story. This set me at ease right away… it’s been 2 years since I’ve been in there! The doctor found a strong heart beat right away on the doppler, and did again at my visit the following week for my physical check up. This time there were no problems after it. I was so thankful. God was answering prayers left, right, and centre.
The first trimester it was so difficult, it still is a bit, to not worry. We are doing our best to not let our fears consume us. We are trying to hand it all over to God, and trust Him. Doing that has helped put us at ease. I still don’t think I will ever actually, fully enjoy being pregnant. Certain thoughts will always cross my mind. I will always worry more than others. I may even have a few more visits to the doctors than most… and that is okay.
For now we continue to pray for this baby, and look forward to October. We are hoping, and praying that he or she comes early in October, and we are even already praying about the delivery that all goes well. We are even praying that this little one will be a great sleeper like Evie. We are also praying that I won’t suffer through joint/pelvic pain again, that my headaches/migraines will stop, and that the dental-whoas that have come this time round will stop promptly. We’d really appreciate, and are so thankful for your continued support. Next up-date will either be in a couple weeks, or we may wait til week 20 when we have our detailed ultrasound, and hopefully find out if baby is a boy or a girl.