This has been something that has upset me, bugged me, made me cry, and infuriated me since my daughter was born. I am also someone with a very short temper, but I try my best to stay calm and not let things get to me, so I know it could very well just be me and my reaction to things. However, I don’t think I can handle many more of these moments.
The other week something happened that is still on my mind and causing my heart to hurt. It caused me to reach my breaking point when it comes to handling this. It all happened after something a store employee said, that floored me when they said it so nonchalantly to my face.
Yes, there is something “wrong” with my daughter’s eyelid. No, I do not need you saying:
“What is wrong with your kid?”
“Whoa, what is with her eyelid?”
“Wow, you kid must be always tired!”
“She looks so weird!”
Have some tact! In case you do not know what that is, it is the ability to do or say something without offending people. I would expect these sorts of comments and the reactions that go with them from young, inquisitive children who are wondering about what is going on with my daughter’s eyelid, and do not have the words or know how to phrase things otherwise. I would not expect these remarks from adults. Sometimes I wish I had my older sister’s bluntness, my second youngest sister’s patience and ability to bite her tongue, and my youngest sister’s quick whit and sharp tongue ways. I tend to just shut down and say nothing, or I let everything just consume all of me until I explode in emotions. It was suggest to me that next time something like this happens that perhaps my response should be “What is wrong with you?” I just don’t think I could bring myself to do that, but I just might one of these days. It has almost become a daily occurrence, or at least an occurrence that happens in what seems to be everytime we go out with her.
My daughter is beautiful just the way she is. These comments I’m hearing make me fearful that she might some day endure bullying in relation to her eyelid. I pray it does not happen. She is still being observed by a pediatric opthalmologist to ensure everything is okay, and the doctor is still very confident that her eyelid will improve as she gets older. If it does not we will cross that bridge when we need to. We have had it recommended that we speak with a surgeon and to get their thoughts on her eyelid. It is something we are currently considering, and your thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated. My biggest fear is that we miss something and that she does loose vision in that eye.
Comments and reactions like this, to my daughter, with something that I would consider to be minor breaks my heart when I think of families who have children with other conditions. I can’t imagine what they may go through on a daily basis. So please, have some tact. We don’t need your negative comments. Your kindness and support is welcome.
Everyone is fearfully and wonderfully made.