Point blank… girls are mean.
I don’t know if it’s something that has suddenly become a part of girl mentality, or what. This is sadly something that has been on the forefront of my mind for some time because here I am now raising two girls, and I am worried.
It’s often something that is featured in movies, goodness there is even a movie titled Mean Girls. The interaction of girls towards one another where they are nothing but mean. I’m left wondering why this is something we’re found to be okay with. It’s not funny. Girls are becoming more, and more belligerent towards each other, and for some reason it seems like the world is okay with that. I’ve been wondering why girls, of any age, are so cruel towards each other.
Many of us have experienced the cruelty starting at a young age. Perhaps you were excluded from getting to eat with a group of girls at recess or lunch, or maybe one girl made you their target because of how your hair was styled and it spread like wildfire to your peers. How many of us have scars from being bullied? I know I do.
Not many will admit when they have been on the other end, and been the one inflicting the pain. Let’s be honest though, we’ve all been there. How many of us though grow up, and stop doing this? Sadly it seems like some have not grown up, and have not learned from their childhood. Instead they continue their mean girl ways, and take their behaviour into adulthood.
Mom-wars, Frenemies… how many names are there for these moments? For these women? The bullying continues. The behaviour is still used to do the same thing it did in school. It is used to control, intimidate, and make others feel small. A common thing among women is to gossip, and talk about others behind their backs. Have you ever read the tabloid magazines at the check out? Are those not the same thing; a person somewhere bullying celebrities. Yet these magazines are so popular, with many women buying them as they leave the store, and soaking it all up.
Have you ever experienced mom-wars? I have. It’s ridiculous. It’s destructive. It’s heartbreaking. It’s hurtful. To exclude someone because you do not agree about something, or have had a disagreement of some sort. Have you been judged on how you parent, or over a choice you’ve made? Even something so pathetic as disagreeing about giving children organic squishy food packs, or other squishy packs. Have you been there? How can we as women continue to cut each other down over things like this, it needs to stop. We talk about wanting to end mom-wars, but really we need to get to the base of it all and end girl-wars. It starts young, and it continues into adulthood. We should be lifting each other up, and supporting one another. If an issue comes up you should be going to that person, not ganging up and attacking them in whatever way is deemed fit. Sometimes it really is best to say nothing at all, if what you are going to say will cause damage.
I am incredibly worried for my girls. Am I setting a positive example for them, or am I being sucked into all of this? I sure hope I am doing the right thing, I know that I am making changes to things. No more magazines. Making sure if I have an issue with someone that I talk to them, because it is not the place of others, and out of respect for one another it should be addressed with them. No more being pulled into the mom-wars. I don’t care if you nurse or bottle feed, vaccinate or don’t, feed your kid organic food each day or pick up fast food. I’m working towards a new mindset, and I sure hope I show my girls how they should behave towards other girls. I’m sure there will be moments that I fail, I will face that if and when it occurs. Really, I hope I am showing my girls how they should be behaving towards anyone. I want my daughters to be seeing me showing kindness, respect, and love towards others. I want my daughter’s to grow up being women who have great heart, and good character.
Change has to start somewhere. I’m starting with myself, and my girls.